Love

What is love? This is a feeling many people have discussed, wrote books on, is portrayed in movies and songs, as well as being eloquently written in poetry. It is an amazing phenomenon that many people do not understand. If you ask 100 people what love is, you could potentially receive 100 different answers. This does not mean one persons definition is better than another.

I believe love is all based on the individual. It is a feeling that can be interpreted in many different ways, constantly being redefined. Even within our own lives love is constantly changing. The love we experience as children and teens is completely different then the love we experience as adults. This isn't to say the love we experience at a younger age isn't real. At that point in ones life it is a real emotion and experience. These feelings are often not forgotten and help prepare us for a future, more mature relationship.

As we enter into adulthood our definition of love changes. Along with many others things. We begin to redefine ourselves and the other people in our life's. We begin to try new things and mold into an entirely new person.

Our friendships no longer revolve around who has the coolest clothes or who we played sports with. Some of your high school friends may still be around. But many times you lose touch with those people. Your relationships begin to revolve around common interests, dreams and aspirations.

Our romantic relationships are no longer about infatuation but revolve around something different. They are about trust, friendship, interests and love. You begin to ask the important questions; "could I marry this person," "do you want children?" "will you protect my heart and love me through the good and the bad?" You move in with one another, share expenses and begin perhaps for the first time in your life, begin putting someone else's feelings before your own.

You will have fights, you won't always agree on things, and at times you may feel like you want to give up. This is where I believe love comes in, when even though everything is falling apart and nothing is going right, you willing to stay with that person and work things out and in the end become stronger then you were before.

If you are willing to work on your differences, this is love. This is not to say love will always work. You may live someone but it still doesn't work out. And if someone you love treats you poorly you shouldn't stay with them. Love is not a cure all and it isn't the only thing that makes a relationship work. There are many other factors needed to have a lasting relationship.

Love will not always give you a happy ending and may leave you with a broken heart. Many people believe love will always prevail like in the movies. But sometimes it only leaves you with tears. But, this doesn't mean you should give up.

I believe in love. Even failed love. It teaches us about ourselves and helps along the journey of life. It helps mold you into the person you are supposed to be. So, if you have failed love, don't shut yourself away from the world. Be willing to love again. Every time you fall in love it will be something different. Embrace it and eventually you will find the love that will fit. The one who no matter how bad things get will always work and will always be there. And remember, NEVER settle for less then you deserve <3

Our new little home

Today was an amazing day <3 Cody and I went to the park across the street from our apartment and it seriously is one of the most beautiful parks i've ever been too. There are trails you can hike through the woods, tennis courts, badmintion courts, a huge area to use weight machines, beautiful pavillions and tombs respecting the dead. They have these ponds with amazing fountains and it was just beautiful today. The fall weather was absolutely amazing. The trees leaves are starting to change colors and falling on the ground. The crunch of the leaves under my feet and the scent of the crisp fall air is one of my FAVORITE things in the entire world. And I thought to myself today how lucky I am and the life that i'm living.

I have this amazing man who supports me no matter what I do. He puts up with so many things from me that he shouldn't have to. But, he does and wears a smile on his face and continues to love me no matter what. It was so nice today to just enjoy our time with each other one on one. Without any computers or phones or television. Just him and I being him and I. We have gotten to this amazing place this week. Just being completely honest about our hopes and fears. What we need from each other. And it has brought us extremely close together.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my Uncle John before the wedding. We basically talked about marriage and what it means and that it isn't always rainbows and butterflies. It is hard work. And sometimes it takes a lot to keep a marriage going. Sometimes you might hate a person and all you want to do is run away and not figure out the problems you are having because they are too hard. But, when I said my vows to my husband in front of our friends and families I meant it. For better or for worse. You never think that you will suffer the worst. You believe that your relationship will be the best and will withstand all things. But, guess what. . .it isn't always like that. You have to fight to keep the spark going, you have to fight for what you want and what you believe. I decided this week that i'm not someone who runs away when things get hard. I'm someone who fights, and sometimes we have to fight for the people we love the most.

I know all of our problems haven't been solved, but it feels really good to have things out on the table and to be at a place where we can talk with one another. I feel loving towards him when I see him, when he holds me, when we walk through a park together on a Sunday afternoon. I feel immensily happy to have him standing next to me. Holding my hand or just to have someone to have a conversation with. It was an amazing feeling today. I was just so happy to be here in this place.

To be brave enough to take this step in my life and know that I have the courage to do it. I've never done anything like this and never thought that I would. The rewards have been amazing. Today I stood in this park watching all these families playing with their children, seeing all these amazing, beautiful things and thought. . .OMG I can't believe I'm here. I'm in South Korea thousands and thousands miles away from my family, my support system of people. And in this entirely new place with entirely new surroundings. Learning this language and trying to figure out the culture and customs they believe in. It truly is an amazing experience and i've been so lucky and so blessed to even have this oppurtunity in my life <3

And equally blessed that I have someone so amazing to share it with. I'm so happy that Cody was able to come with me. He needed this as much as I did. To pursue his dreams and desires and wishes that he has for his life. Can I just ask a favor from people who do read this. Please, give him encouraging thoughts. That he will believe in himself enough to pursue those dreams that he most desires. He is an amazing photographer!!!! He has an eye to see these amazing things in places that might not seem that amazing. He can make something look beautiful that to the naked eye is just an ugly nut that has fallen off a tree. He just doesn't believe in himself enough to pursue that dream. Doesn't have the confidence to know that he can. And he needs to find that place! And it is so hard because I can only show him so much. The rest he has to believe for himself.

That's it for the night. It is off to bed. Good night world <3